More Blessings

Darryn and I are continuing to be blessed in pretty much every aspect of wedding planning and budgeting.  The original estimated costs of things are actually lower than expected!  For example:

• Audio-visual equipment for the DJ:  Ended up settling on a quote that was about 35% less than the inital one! 
• My shoes:  FREE and they're cute!!  In a nutshell, I bought them online, received them, was unsatisfied with the quality and workmanship of the product, exchanged a few emails with customer service, they eventually gave me a full refund without needing to send the shoes back to their warehouse.  Because of the poor quality, though, I might have to buy one that would last throughout day!
• Sash:  Instead of paying at least a hundred dollars for a "bling" sash especially made for brides and sold at bridal shops which brides only use once, I found an equally-blinging belt from a store at a mall that cost $30.  Take that, vendors-that-mark-up-their-merchandise-just-because-it's-for-a-wedding!!!
• Centerpieces and decorations:  Every Sunday I get approached by fellow sistahs at church who offer their stash of vases and from their weddings to use for ours!  Eva has even offered for us to come to her garden and snip off the hydrangeas there!  Inhee said she has reflective mirrors plates!  Joyce is giving me her 19 vases and some silk flowers!  Grace has an aisle runner!  Lyn and Grace (Laura A., too!) have offered help with decorating ideas!
• Ring bearer and flower girl:  We were not going to have these two members of our wedding party because we heard we have to pay for their attire.  But it turns out that Corris' twins Liya and Noah, who happen to be celebrating their 2nd birthday on our wedding day, already have appropriate outfits for the job!  Plus, Dave and Corris have offered to train them to walk up and down the aisle.  I see great progress each Sunday.  They're in!
• Wedding invitation:  Aaron M. is designing them for us, and we are getting them printed taking advantage of one local printshop's monthly deals.  March's deal was cotton invitations!  Aaron pointed out that the cotton fits in nicely with our theme of growth and stuff.  :)  Each invitation is about 45 cents each!
• Boutonnieres for helpers:  In addition to my aunt, Grace has offered to make them for us!  The estimated cost is super cheap.  Because we are saving money in other areas, Darryn and I decided to put flowers for helpers back on the budget board!  I am glad that the worship team, ushers and other helpers will be able to wear special flowers to make them stand out in our wedding day!

We are saving hundreds of dollars, thanks to God's providence.  I am reminded of one of the lessons I re-learned from the marriage prep book we did:  like everything on this earth, money is God's and we are stewards of these things.  This lesson is helping me be more generous to others with the money that's been entrusted to me (one of the traits I admire in Darryn).  Because we get to save on many things in our wedding, we can reallocate the extra funds towards blessing others rather than ourselves for our wedding!!!

McDK Wedding Colours

Wedding colours:  one of those things that gets asked about when it comes to wedding colours.  The colour theme is very important as it speaks to the personality of the couple, and is effective in setting the atmosphere for the wedding day.

Darryn and I took a while to decide on our accent colours.  We are unique individuals with distinct tastes.  It so happens that his favourite colour is my least favourite, and my favourite colour is his least favourite!  In the end, he let me have my blush pink, and he got his second favourite colour, green, in bright lime!  I thought the colour combination fit our themes closely.  In a way, pink and green symbolize the goodness of God, his abounding grace, his love for us.

Green = nature, life, health, zest, growth, endurance, proliferation, abundance
Pink = hope, sentiment, care, faith, gentleness, warmth, love, grace

Less of Me, More of...Nothing...?

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Col. 3:17

Why is it important for me and DK to consult, honour and glorify God in our wedding?  Why do we want a Christ-centred marriage?  In my experience, anything not Christ-centred is bound to disappoint, to say the least.  If I may be more bold, I would even say "bound for failure," or even "futile."  When it comes to marriage, unfortunately, I've seen it happen with my relatives.  I've seen it in my own life, the latest example of which was my aspiration to become a nurse. (Please read this post first if you haven't already, for some context).

As many of you know, I have a BA, majoring in geography.  While many people have used their post-secondary training to usher themselves into a career, it was difficult to do so with just a generic arts degree.  Don't get me wrong; I loved the discipline of geography and I enjoyed looking at the world through a geographer's lens.  Because of it, I was able to have truly unique experiences, like teaching kids at a Canadian school in Indonesia, interviewing participants in research studies that have gained the attention of Canadian policymakers and politicians, as well as being being a part of an art exhibit and a theatrical documentary-style play related to these research studies.  These experiences and the insight and knowledge I gained from my education are priceless.  However, when I found myself back at home from my Indonesia teaching stint, I wondered, what now?  (Administration/management at the school there discouraged me from being a teacher.)

Learning how to drive was a metaphor for going on the journey of life.  I learned to plan my route before heading out, and to have a map on hand in case you get stuck and need to reroute.  I learned that I always need to be prepared, be ahead of the game, be one step ahead of the play, and have a backup planor two.  This prevented me the traffic jams of life, saved me from being in a standstill, and kept me moving forward in the world.  It was once said to me that God is not going to help me if I don't help myself first.  Is this Truth?  (Keep reading for the answer!)

Being a nurse sounded like a great idea.  It pays fairly well, there's a labour market demand for these professionals (albeit in the rural areas), there is a wide variety of nursing positions that suits any kind of personality or preference, there are opportunities for professional development and upward mobility, there would be satisfaction in knowing that I would be helping people out in a direct way, and plus, this profession would give me opportunities to bring people to Christ.  I was looking for stability in my future and being a nurse was my means.

So for a year, I completed the requirements to enter BCIT, the most competitive school for nursing.  I was accepted immediately and began school the following year.  Two levels (semesters) in, I don't know how it happened but it just didn't work out with my clinical instructor.  I thought I was doing fine--the patients I was assigned had nothing to say but good things about the care I provided them--and then all of a sudden my instructor said that she can't pass me to the next level.  I was pretty distraught about it, and I decided not to enroll for the next semester in the meantime to discern whether this nursing thing really is for me.  I went through counselling, including career counselling, decided on my options for the present and future, and I became prayerful.  I really had no choice but to turn to God because, again, I was exhausted of options and resources.  It was a throwback to a couple years prior when I came back from Indonesia without a job and lacking purpose.  But I also remember that God took care of my needs then.  I believe it was his Spirit which led me to pray, "Ok, Lord.  I don't know what to do now, but from now on, let it only be for your purpose and your kingdom."  What that meant was to stop making these plans for myself and stop trying to take control, stop trying to prepare myself because it will only be in vain.  I must do nothing for God and just let him move me along to where he wants me to be because he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Along the same lines, I have studied Jesus' Sermon on the Mount before, the Do Not Worry one in Matthew 6:25-34.  Jesus teaches his people not to be anxious about necessities in life because God loves us and will provide for us moreso than he does that birds in the air and the grasses of the fields.  This has recently become one of my favourite passages because it speaks of the Father's love for his creation, humans being his most beloved out of all these.  God is our maker and he knows what we need to survive.  He is not going to let us perish because we are his beloved.  For this, I find that I must surrender myself to Him and meet him with my faith.  My faith is not perfect today, but I'm pretty sure I've leveled up since then.  I learned that if I let God rule over my life instead of controlling it and planning it myself, His blessings will pour out--even greater blessings than those we have ever thought of...because God himself is faithful with his love for us.

How have I made sense with my fallout with nursing?  It doesn't matter whether I could have been a good nurse or not, or whether or not it is my "calling."  It took me a while to realize that this nursing fallout of mine is not to do with "calling" or whether I would make a great nurse.  What it is is a lesson my Heavenly Father wanted to teach me about faith; my own and God's faithfulness to his people.  Here's where I went wrong with the whole nursing thing:  Initially I thought I could serve others and touch people's lives by being a nurse, and while I'm at it, I get to earn a decent living so I can do my part in providing for my family in the future.  Helping people out, loving one another, having my own family I believed were God's will in my life.  But in this, I had two things wrong:  my motives, and my means.  Both were ME-centered.  *I* wanted a decent living.  *I* wanted a stable source of income.  *I* decided to be a nurse.  *I* would be helping people out, and possibly *I* would do a part in bringing people closer to Christ.  It is plain to see that there was no room for Jesus with the way I was going about my life.  There was no room for his provision, no room his power, no room for my faith to grown, no room for his love to pour down if I was self-sufficient, no way for him to be real in my life.  God needed to teach me about him, through Jesus.  I needed to unlearn the lies that were taught to me.  I needed to let him to fill in the roles in my life that I needed...Provider, Counselor, Advisor, Father, Lord God Almighty.  Less of me, more of Him.

So this me doing "nothing" worked out; God provided!  I did not need to be prepared and make these plans for myself because God has better ones.  I promptly landed a humble job that would pay the bills, got asked to be a future wife, went on a short-term mission to India, and had numerous opportunities to serve God by getting to know and working together with brothers and sister in Christ as our church moves forward with God's Great Commission (e.g. contributing in worship service, fellowshipping, praying, Bible reading challenge, learning from Spirit-led leaders, participating in Alpha courses, etc.)  As I also look forward to married life, God has assured me that I will find my purpose and mission directly if I look to Him, and not look for it in a career or whatever else.  The identity of being his daughter above all else is continually being affirmed, and I look forward to what God has in store for me as I prepare to be a bride-slash-wife.

With my experience, the idea that God is not going to do anything unless we take control of our own life first is NOT truth.  God can do anything at any time because he is sovereign; he does not require us to show that we can do it for ourselves before he works in our lives.  He will give us what we need whether we know it or not, in his own time, and for his purpose. That is the faith I needed to learn about.  In a way, it's come full circle: I needed to have faith that God is faithful to me.  That's the beauty about coming into a relationship with Christ...while we are required to walk in his footsteps, the Spirit will work in our lives to be able to do so.  Paul wrote in Philippians 4:19 that God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus (ESV).  Again, in 2 Corinthians 9:8:  God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed (NASB).

MCDK Wedding Theme.

Life now is not empty because I didn't make plans for myself.  In fact it became more...full.  And best of all, there is joy.  The moral of the story is, whatever you're going to do, do it selflessly for Jesus, which, to Darryn and I, includes our marriage.

All This Preparing...!

Hello!  Just wanted to do a quick update as I haven't posted in a while.

Yesterday, Darryn and I finalized our florist and decor company (two-in-one).  I am quite glad to get this out of the way because it's one of the last major things (besides wedding party attire and a/v rentals) we have to decide on.  At this point, I admit I am kind of impatient and just want July to come around and get started with this being married thing already!  In other words, I'm sort of becoming tired of planning and organizing despite the long list of to-dos.  When I am feeling frazzled and overwhelmed, I have to remember that I'm not in this alone.

One thing I'm looking forward to is tonight Darryn and I, along with 3 other couples, are starting the pre-marriage Alpha course at New Life lead by Pastor Sam and Grace.  Darryn and I went through a workbook on our own.  It's called Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love.  We got it for $5 (used) from Powell's Books in Portland!  We are also currently attending The Art of Marriage series hosted at Lord's Love Church with other couples from Path, who are also going to the Alpha course.  Because we also have Path, Darryn and I will see Nathanael, Joyce, Aaron and Greta 3 weekdays a week for the next 4 weeks!

Why are we going through multiple pre-marriage preparation resources?  Why not!  As Darryn likes to put it, you can never be prepared enough for this marriage thing we're getting ourselves into!  For myself, it's helpful to compare what Christian leaders say about it--and so far, the resources we've sought are unified in their body of knowledge; it's almost as though they've used each other as references to put their materials together...which is good because the ultimate source is the Bible!  This is good, because a stubborn and forgetful person like me needs repetition to get it drilled in my head (and heart)!

"Goodness Gracious!"

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  (NLT, Matthew 6:33)

The past week in terms of wedding preparations has been filled with blessings to do with the guestbook, the cake, and our monthly prayer meeting for January.

Last week, my guestbook arrived in the mail from Shutterfly!  I was excited to see how it turned out and nervous to see if there are any glaring mistakes, such as uneven alignment and typographical errors.  I eagerly flipped through the pages, careful not to wrinkle them.  Alas, I did find a typo in one of my favourite pages with one of key Bible verses.  On page says, "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good" (so far so good) and the opposing page, "His faithful loves endures forever."  My heart broke.  I thought, ironically, the wedding is officially NOT PERFECT!  Noooo!  It was quite disappointing to have this ONE detail to annoy me.  Thankfully, the font I chose to display the verse makes the typo inconspicuous.  The extra S can be covered with a small star sticker, I guess.  Finally, a short while later, I accepted the mistake.  Maybe this is God's way of bringing attention to this verse, that God is good, and that his love endures forever!!!  I believe God can turn our mistakes around and use it for his kingdom; certainly, this typo would be a story to tell, for one.  Indeed it became so.

I didn't mention that when the parcel that contained the guestbook arrived, it also contained someone else's Shutterfly order.  It was addressed to a person in Port Moody.  I wrote, "Sent to wrong address" on it and dropped it off at the nearest mailbox.  I e-mailed Shutterfly's customer service department to let them know what happened.  I receive an reply with them apologizing and asking if I received my order correctly.  I said I did but also mentioned that I had made a typo (I was still kind of sad about it), but it wasn't a big deal.  Shutterfly e-mailed back and stated their dedication to 100% customer satisfaction and said they had put a credit on my account enough for a photobook and shipping so I can correct my typo and have my photobook re-printed!!!!!!!  AND because of the inconvenience of having someone else's order shipped to me, they gave me a full refund for my original order (which was only the cost of shipping because I had gotten it for free)!!!!!!!  A customized $7 photobook for guests to sign was good enough for me, but no, I am now even more blessed to have TWO free guestbooks to use for the wedding (I don't have to return the first one)!!!!!!!  I thought, this wedding is even more PERFECT now!!!!  Praise the Lord, He indeed IS good!!!!!!  How gracious is he, turning my mistake into an overflow of blessings.  

The second thing is about the wedding cake.  The cake is probably the least of our wedding day priorities and the thing that excites us the least as self-proclaimed not-dessert people (though Darryn would argue that I am a dessert person because apparently I always ask for it).  We would have been fine with store-bought cake mix and buttercream icing with the Lego groom and bride cake topper, and we would have been okay with having one of our family members make it for us, and we will just cover the cost of ingredients.  We don't eat cake very often, you see!  And in the last wedding we went to, hardly anyone ate the cake or the mini-cupcakes even though they were good!  Prudence messages me from Hong Kong and tells me that she and Eva are starting a cake making businesses for weddings and special events, and they could do our cake!  I am excited for them, but told her about how Darryn and I feel about the wedding cake.  I told her I'd talk to him and let her and Eva know.  

I had not even had a chance to talk to Darryn yet but the next day, Prudence messages me again and said she talked to Eva and they decided to do our cake for us within our budget!!!!!!!  That's a miracle!  I wasn't even searching for a baker--I wasn't even planning on approaching relatives to bake us a cake until the month before the wedding--and now, six months before, we have bakers whom I know and trust to make us a yummy AND pretty cake!!!  I didn't even have to put in any effort, and God knows our budget and He provides!  And it's not because we deserve this cake, but because God is good!!!!!!

So, coming into our January prayer meeting--Renee and Kevin have committed to praying with us about our wedding/marriage prep--I was in a great mood.  I was even more excited because we had Patty (bridesmaid) and Christine (MOH) join us for this month's meeting!  It's really nice to have other people join us and support us in prayer; this is only the second time we've had others come since we started meeting in October even though I keep inviting all the groomsmen and bridesmaids.  I was really appreciative of this month's meeting because, even though those who were there go to different churches or are in different places in our walk, everyone fully participated in the prayers.  And I thought, how good is this, that we come together and gather in God's name.  It was a good fellowship session!  

My experience reminds me of this verse, which I had originally put in a graphic design image used as an announcement about our wedding theme/colours.  It foretold what I have experienced this past week:

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.  (2 Cor 9:8)

God provides for our needs in his timely way and he blesses us not so we can live like kings and queens, but so we can do his kingdom's work.  =)

Embracing Trials

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.  And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."  Romans 5:1-5

So sometimes when I hit rough patches in my week I think, "it never just rains, it pours" (much like this week actually was).  The first week as a service technician was busy and all over the place and I still found myself doing install work instead of just service.  Problem after problem compounded upon each other until I just thought it was going to be too annoying, or too stupid to deal with.  Then suddenly everything cleared up and it was the weekend, and that little glimmer of hope that helped me through the week paid off.  Knowing that if I persevere through troubles and I did the right thing instead of ignoring the problem or passing it off, I would be better off for it.  The Romans verse coincidentally was the devotional verse of the day, reminding me that God never gives us problems so that we can fail, that He never puts us in situations that try our patience for fun.  It is always for a reason, whether we realize it or not, that through it all, we will grow closer to Him and rely on Him to do the right thing and to humbly accept all that is thrown our way.

Wedding Day Uniqueness and Perfection?

Matthew 6:25-34
English Standard Version (ESV)

Do Not Be Anxious

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Footnotes:

a.  Matthew 6:27 Or a single cubit to his stature; a cubit was about 18 inches or 45 centimeters
(from http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A25-34&&version=ESV)

For some couples, the pressure is on to make their wedding day perfect and unique.   I've watched too many episodes of Four Weddings, where four brides attend each others' weddings and vote on which was done best.  The winning couple with the best score for dress, venue, food and overall experience then gets a destination honeymoon prize.  Weddings featured on Four Weddings range from simple and intimate backyard get-togethers to the big, lavish bash at a mansion.  Some weddings have colour or design themes like chevron patterns and colours of the rainbow, while others are quirky and incorporate themes such as the circus, Christmas in July, Phantom of the Opera, and even Halloween.

In the early stages of engagement, the pressure was on for me as I subconsciously subscribed to the culture's idea of bridal entitlement to a uniquely perfect wedding.  The double-edged sword for me is my meticulousness and attention to detail for the sake of perfection, and therefore, satisfaction, and I wanted that for the wedding day.  I would do what it takes so that it would be perfect and I can be happy and people would be impressed!  Thus, I scoured the interwebs for resources and ideas as well as talk to others who have been to many weddings.  But doing so made me realize that it's almost impossible to do a one-of-a-kind wedding because I'd be getting my ideas from other people who've done it before!  Futile is my endeavour.

Thankfully sooner than later, I came to realize that it doesn't matter if I don't impress my guests by including something no one has ever thought of doing before in the history of weddings.  It doesn't matter if it's been done before; it doesn't matter if my wedding is "unique" or not.  In fact, if I'm using ideas from other Christian couples, then sign me up, because I want to take part in traditions that are acts of worship to God, too!

Now, the priority for Darryn and I is to glorify the ultimate guest of honour at our wedding, our Heavenly Father, in small or big ways, as well as on the days leading up to it and after it.  I don't need to wrack my brains out trying to make everything about that day perfect, because time and again I know these truths: God is in ultimate control, and importantly, that He is good.  Jeremiah 29:11 captures this:  "...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Yes, God has the best in store for his children!   And even though I am concerned with the majesty piece for the wedding, I remember that God delights in my faith, not my works:  "For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not through your own doing; it is the gift from God, so that none may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).  And about gifts: "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down form the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows" (James 1:17).  So heck, the best thing for me to do to ensure that this wedding is unique and perfect is to lift it up to God.  He makes things beautiful, like the lilies in the field, yet they neither toil nor spin.  =)